Life definitely gives us lessons over and over until we learn what we are supposed to learn. Right now, I'm going through it. I'm questioning why the things that happen, happen. And, questioning why things ended up they way they ended up. I am working on figuring out what to do with where I'm at now and how to do better next time. I'm learning that if you're saying to someone, "Can you believe..." that's victim mode and you cannot dig out of victim mode by acting that way. Changing things digs you out. Faith and trust in who you are and in God's plan digs you out.
I believe it's important to keep peace and to make peace when conflict has occurred. Leaving a situation toxic (through arguing, name calling, punishing) is so bad. Communication and peaceful (hopefully, loving) conversation solves a lot. A little bit of understanding and compassion solves a lot. Saying "sorry" helps a lot. The ego is so attached to not being wrong.
Consequently, it's important to make peace but not at the expense of yourself. I often cave in and apologize just to shut down the conflict because I cannot handle conflict. It's important to stay strong, empowered and stand up for one's self (in a loving way). Life is tough enough. Dealing with the extra crap, meanness, ridiculous conflicts, unloving comments from those that should be our biggest fans and loved ones is such a waste. I wish life was more about sending positive vibes and less about sending daggers. I wish people responded, communicated, listened with intention to really hear what the other is saying...instead of reacting.
Needing the approval of another is a waste. If we seek approval from others, we stifle ourselves and never take a step. No matter what we do, we will always be wrong to someone. I'm learning more and more to get quiet and listen. Listen to what my gut is telling me, because that's my intuition leading me to better things. I need to trust my instincts more and listen to my body and mind when something isn't feeling quite right. Most importantly, I need to trust that I can make decisions that are right for me, regardless of the good opinions and judgments of others.
I found this quote from José Micard Teixeira that I adore and had to share. He sums it all up so nicely:
Make a reverence to who you are. See yourself with different eyes and find in you what didn't want to find those other times when you looked at yourself. Don't judge yourself for the life you had. Don't condemn yourself for everything in which you thought you failed or got it wrong. Don't beat yourself up for allowing others to disrespect you or lie. What's important is what you are going to do about all that. You know very well that you can't change what's happened. What you can do is change today your attitude towards yourself and not others. Only if you change your attitude towards yourself, you can change how you act with them. Only if you change the way you behave with yourself, you can improve the relationship you keep with yourself and, consequently, with everyone else. Understand once and for all that there's no one else like you, not even someone better or worse than who you are. There are only people who are different from you, just as you are different from them. For that reason, make a reverence to who you are. Surrender to yourself. Commit to your own essence. Don't fool yourself anymore, and don't be dishonest with your heart. Always choose what makes you smile inside, what makes you take back what is most pure in yourself, what protects you from comparisons and lies, from anger and illusion, what takes you closer to the pieces of you that you thought were lost forever.